carolewilliams's blog for December 2005
Submitted by carolewilliams on December 20, 2005 - 22:49.
Well recovered, I turn my thoughts toward Christmas and the list of tasks I need to complete. Naturally my thoughts turn to children and my own son. But a deeper worry perplexes me, as my mind drifts to thinking about how many children this Christmas will not experience Christmas living in 'the present'. I am not referring to the starving in Africa, or to the homeless, or those children in care.
I am referring to the small people on our planet who are labelled and drugged as ADHD because of their exuberance for life, their enthusiasm and their downright determination to be full-blown children. A complexity it seems that we are unable to face in today's busy world.
ADHD affects about 2 children in every classroom. Scary! Search the Internet for yourself and you will see how many reports there are. I am not suggesting for one minute that some children don't suffer with very irregular behaviour in one way or another but using 'chemical cosh' drugs as they are often referred to, as a way of controlling behaviour is a world gone mad. Are we really sure that we have REALLY considered what is causing a child to have irregular behaviour. By irregular, I mean behaviour that is different to the general pattern of behaviour in a school classroom.
Why is it that we expect children to sit for six hours in a classroom day after day and mainly listen, when they have four other senses that need just as much attention? And we rarely allow them up for a drink of water.
It is fairly well known in interested circles it seems that children who are in gifted programmes were often almost referred as being ADHD because their 'difference'. Hmm! Interesting
I was labelled as disruptive at school and I did a lot of 'mischievous' things. My behaviour was far from perfect. I didn't 'fit in' at school and I found myself wondering whether I might have been labelled as ADHD and then drugged for my boredom. I realise some 30 years later that I have a very creative brain, but we don’t cater for those in school on an individual level. Children who are labelled in this way can be gifted, creative, bright, bored of the school-learning environment or food allergic.
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:28.
4th December
Uurgh! The dreaded lurgy me by the throat. I v’e dot a cowld. By noze is all blocked up and I can’t talk. Hurray, some would say – Carole and quiet don’t sound right in the same sentence heh!. So, a quiet day in to day resting up. What? entrepreneurs NEVER rest, they are always chasing the next good idea! I should have been at a workshop today but as I can’t even talk, there’s not a lot of point. I sit at home hoping that someone will miss me…Sob!
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:27.
3rd December
Whoop! Christmas shopping with my Sister in Milton Keynes. Now there is a town that has shopping sorted. The overwhelming thing about MK is that you can’t fail to notice the affluence. No scruffy people, no street people, everyone well dressed and weighed down with expensive looking shopping bags! The German market is in town and the ice-skating rink is attracting a great deal of interest and people willing to have a go.
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:26.
2nd Dec
Aaah! After a heavy week of relationships and drugs it’s Friday and I am having a supper party tonight. A few friends over, a good meal and a couple of nice bottles of wine rather than copious quantities of cheap vino.
Wine should be enjoyed with good food and good company and not to excess for the sake of it. As an accompaniment rather than an absolute. Mmm what a delightful end to the week! I have to say that as a Christian I am pleased that the Bible advocates fine fellowship with friends which includes food and wine. But God never said go out and get blathered every Friday until you forget who you are and make a complete fool of yourself now did he? For those of you who want to be really informed I recommend www.biblegateway.com. Do a search on wine or drunkenness and see what you come in the Bible which relating to this topic.
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:25.
2nd December
Just spent two days on a drugs workshop ( Raising the issue with young people). I find myself in reflective mood and thinking about my past. Yeah I experimented with all sorts of things as a teenager, drink, drugs and I thank God that I came through that experimentation enscathed. It wasn’t so prevelant then as now. Young people now see taking Ecstasy these days as a fairly usual thing, it seems or smoking cannabis, particularly if you they are going raving or partying. I wonder how many of us ever stop and think about the harm we may cause ourselves as teenagers. I am not sure I ever did. Well we learned on the workshop that more people die from drink as a drug than from what we consider hard drugs. This really comes as no surprise give the binge drinking we see on our streets at weekends, young people out for a ‘good time’ and the so called ‘ladette’ culture, where young females seem to have overtaken their male counterparts in the drinking competitions. I often hear young people telling stories about how much they drink before even going to a pub or a club and the tolerance levels are fairly distressing. One young person told me of how he mixed a large quantity of spirits and drank it before going out for the evening.
If there is one thing that I would encourage young people to do it is to become informed about the substances that they are putting into their bodies. People die not so much through the use as the misuse and misinformation given out mainly through the media. We discussed the recent cannabis laws and how vague they are, that really no-one knows what the law is regarding this very dangerous substance. There is a strong link between Cannabis and mental health problems (see www.cannabishelp.org ). Not what your local dealer will tell you eh? It doesn’t give the health warning on the side of the silver foil. And the edge of the ecstasy tablet does not say that if you drink too much water Too quickly that you may die as ecstasy stops water absorbtion into the body.
Alcohol and tobacco are the cornerstone of all drug use and the age that people are starting to drink is getting younger. What are people so young trying to escape from at such an early age? Have we developed such a culture of entertainment and pressure for young people that there are really no other alternatives? I think about my own six year old and how hard I work at instilling good morals in him and praying that I can prepare him to take care of himself in todays world.
The heartening thing to remember is that all teenagers are risk takers and we can never remove that, as it is a natural part of life as a teenager. What I think is important is that as parents we offer good moral guidance and ensure that we give good information to our children and not skirt the issues of today, rather fully inform them of the dangers. Some parents fear that informing young people about drugs will encourage them to experiment. The greater threat in drugs abuse is through alcohol and that is already, freely available, socially acceptable and positively encouraged in our society. Below are some ‘sobering’ facts I learned..
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:24.
28th November
Carrying on the theme, the workshop today is on Relationships and we cover the variety of relationships from friends to partner to parents and work. I love the Transactional Analysis model, which looks at our three ego types and how we use them in various situations. I like Eric Berne’s work, as it is a very simply explained model that works quite well as a backdrop when exploring, particularly with young people, how people communicate. They can really relate to the Parent Adult Child model. http://businessballs.com/transactionalanalysis.htm. If you check out this website there is s great story there too. 'the person who had feelings'
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:23.
27th November
Church this morning, I love our church it is so Spirit filled and loving and up to date, non of that religiosity that has put so many people off having a personal relationship with God and all the abundance that brings. We have so many lovely people there.
This afternoon I am running the youth development programme which is really good fun, with the 15 + group. Today’s topic, Parents, Presentations and Power. Whoo! Heavy stuff!
It went really well especially the presentations part of it. They were so inspiring. Young people when given free reign are so full of wonderful ideas and enthusiasm,it's joyful to watch.
It is interesting to see how people behave in a variety of environments and to notice how we all behave differently according to who we are with, the environment, how well we know the people and the context of what we are doing.
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:22.
26th November
Hurray a day off. I am taking my son into town for the candlelight procession and the Christmas light switch on. I love Christmas and my birthday is on the same day, so if you want to send me an e:card, I will be really blessed
carole.williams100@btinternet.com
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:21.
November 24th
Outside of my daytime coaching, I seem to be spending quite a lot of time networking and developing new ideas of way to move my business The Family Coach forward. Tonight sees me at a new networking group, which is just forming. It is a group called A14, which means antenatal to age 14. The group is about linking private individuals who offer services aimed at that group and their parents. It’s an innovative idea which I think will work well especially as one of the leaders is an ex BNI regional manager and so well used to organising and running network meetings. Watch this space!
I am musing over how to get a clearer engagement with teenagers right now. Finding out what it is that they REALLY want or whether they are happy going with the flow and plugging in to whatever event feels right for them.
Coaching is such a joyous profession. I have to say that since beginning the Going for Goal programme and receiving my initial funding through Unltd, the whole business ahs taken on a completely different focus. Part of my time is spent coaching and part of the time training.
I am noticing that people are responding well to The Surviving the Teen Years leaflets and I pray that we will have a full taster day on 29
th January. On a slightly more interesting note, I gave some leaflets to a local organisation and they are now thinking of developing a course in their local vicinity called surprise, surprise Surviving Teens for parents. They have asked me to be involved in running the course, which will offer parents either a 10-week course or Life Coaching or Counselling if they are not ready to move forward. At first I felt slightly ‘miffed’ and it felt as though they were stealing my idea. However, I checked myself and praised God because if it gets teenagers on the map and more people pick up the mantle with parents, then that has to be a good thing. I also realise that it makes what we do part of a much bigger picture. Talking of bigger pictures God has been giving me lots of pictures about joining the dots and being a connector. So I am going with the flow on this one hehe!
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Submitted by carolewilliams on December 9, 2005 - 11:20.
November 23rd
Spent a great morning with my Pastor and his wife, it was a really Spiritual time and we explored the development of youth in our church.
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