UnLtd Blogs - dalai lama

NHS Squeeze: Will It Mean More Work And Fewer Resources For Carers?

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 16:41:12 +0000

I came across the following in Ancient Wisdom, Modern World: Ethics for a New Millennium, by the 14th Dalai Lama. It is an interesting description of the ethics of caring for ourselves and others and the authenticity of happiness that is grounded in qualities such as love, compassion, patience and tolerance.

Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

Nor is it so remarkable that our greatest joy should come when we are motivated by concern for others. But that is not all. We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others' happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace -- anxiety, doubt, disappointment -- these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.

Reconciliation And Acknowledgement

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 20:28:14 +0000

In Godspeed, Keith Carlson has offered another inspirational and poignant account of caring that enriches our understanding of compassion, essential dignity and the vocation of caring.

Godspeed is a poignant reminder that there are sicknesses that extend beyond the body and affect all of those around the person who is afflicted by these complex ills. Even when somebody has a complex medical history, the true sadness and disruption of that life may lie in the spiritual realm, or in the psychosocial miasma that surrounds those health problems.

The patient is a "human time-bomb" of clinical and other ills that Carlson has tried to defuse or render less harmful many times in the past. Carlson's efforts could not succeed without the patient's co-operation and so those attempts could not achieve their aim. Despite his remarkable resilience, the patient's serious illnesses seem to be about to overwhelm him.

Yet, despite "the body bristling with tubes and the technology of desperate measures", Carlson offers us a glimpse of what the man is to his family, and what he might have been. He is a "lost soul" whose family care about him and grieve for what he might have been:

If No Man Is An Island, Is Compassion The Connection?

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 18:09:49 +0000

There is another extraordinary piece by Keith Carlson about the contrasts and ironies experienced by those who care for others. This piece is an antidote and contrast to the report about abuse by carers that is (rightly) dominating the news cycles at present, and the grisly stories featuring prominently on blogs like NHS Blog Doc's.

Keith Carlson gives us very moving insight into the currents of his working life and his vocation. He looks in on a patient and receives his good wishes for the weekend.

Our handshake was a lingering one, and then I took my leave, walked out into the light rain, and looked back at the windows of the institution temporarily housing this gentle and kind soul. He may be locked inside and I may be free to roam, but his spirit is as free as mine, and part of him left with me, and I carry it with me still. It lives in my heart, and no physical boundary can dissolve the strings of compassion which connect us all.

Amidst all the recent publicity, it is refreshing and necessary to read an account like this. And to know that there are people who are guided by their compassion and a keen sense of human dignity. It is all the more necessary when there are incidents that make us question whether some people recognise human dignity in the vulnerable. We frequently quote John Donne's Meditation XVII:

No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee

I have the privilege to run Happystance workshops with carers: the more that I meet them, and the more I come across the writings of people like Keith Carlson, the more I question whether the connection between us all is grounded in compassion. Which is back to thinking about the Dalai Lama's writing on the link between compassion and authentic happiness.

[E]thics are necessary as a means to ensure that we do not harm others...genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others' happiness.

Ethics, Happiness and Caring

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 16:12:37 +0000

Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

Nor is it so remarkable that our greatest joy should come when we are motivated by concern for others. But that is not all. We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others' happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace -- anxiety, doubt, disappointment -- these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.

Compassion And Its Renewal: why character may be relevant

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 11:57:18 +0000

I deeply admire people who work in the arena of addiction. I have no understanding of how they constantly renew their compassion and energy for working with people who can present with extremes of dysfunction.

So, I was interested to come across a blog account that describes why Things Don't Go Better With Coke. Keith Carlson writes:

Working with this poor, chronically ill and generally disenfranchised community, addiction and its unhappy effects are normal aspects of my work, and part and parcel of many patients' lives. Compassion and love are still called for, and judgementalness and criticism only fuel the flames of separation. While my compassion-meter is sometimes pushed beyond its perceived limits, I find there is always more compassion and love somewhere in the chambers of my heart. The ultimate goal is healing, and especially in the face of addiction, compassion and understanding must, in the end, be the energy which fuels the healers' fire.

Challenged to explain how he can constantly renew his compassion, Carlson refers to a sense of gratitude for his own material and social good fortune. He also admires the work of Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama. It may be yet another instance of Aristotle's argument:

men become builders by building houses, and harpists by playing the harp. Similarly, we become just by the practice of just actions, self-controlled by exercising self-control, and courageous by performing acts of courage. (Bk II, Nicomachean Ethics)

However, to an outside commentator, even Aristotle is insufficient to explain why Carlson and people like him have not burned out. It seems that Carlson has remarkable resilience and social intelligence/citizenship. I mention this last because positive psychology argues that when our character strengths and virtues are in line with the demands of our life and work, then people achieve remarkable results and they do not burn out as rapidly as other people would who have different strengths and virtues.