Loss and Grieving: Study Shows That Spouses Are Resilient

AADT offers a brief overview of the book, Spousal Bereavement in Later Life. The book reports the findings of a study:

The Michigan team followed 1,500 couples over the age of 65, looked at the quality of their marriages and the effects on one after the other died.

Almost half said they had enjoyed their marriages but had been able to cope with the loss without much grieving.

Experts previously thought those with minimal grief lacked close attachment to their spouse or were in denial.

...Forty-six per cent of the widows and widowers in this study reported they had satisfying marriages...

Taken together, these findings provide strong evidence that men and women who show this resilient pattern of grief are not emotionally distant or in denial, but are in fact well-adjusted individuals responding to the loss in a healthy way.

I am disturbed that the 'expert' view (which was obviously not grounded in research) may have led to people being labelled as 'emotionally distant' or 'in denial' with whatever consequences there are for those labels. It's a remarkable instance of resilience being medicalised: and it's another take on my recent argument that happiness and resilience can themselves be stigmatised.

AADT is well worth visiting for the chance to watch an elegaic video that tells the poignant story of Alex after the death of his wife of 57 years. As AADT say: