Ethics, Happiness and Caring

I came across the following in Ancient Wisdom, Modern World: Ethics for a New Millennium, by the 14th Dalai Lama. It is an interesting description of the ethics of caring for ourselves and others and the authenticity of happiness that is grounded in qualities such as love, compassion, patience and tolerance.

Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

 

Nor is it so remarkable that our greatest joy should come when we are motivated by concern for others. But that is not all. We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others' happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace -- anxiety, doubt, disappointment -- these things are definitely less. In our concern for others, we worry less about ourselves. When we worry less about ourselves an experience of our own suffering is less intense.

 

What does this tell us? Firstly, because our every action has a universal dimension, a potential impact on others' happiness, ethics are necessary as a means to ensure that we do not harm others. Secondly, it tells us that genuine happiness consists in those spiritual qualities of love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness and so on. For it is these which provide both for our happiness and others' happiness.

I've been thinking about this today because I have been reading some fairly scary and sensationalised (?) trailers for the report of elder abuse that is to be released tomorrow. For all the extraordinary way in which the report is being portrayed as a condemnation of abusive family members, it seems as if they are responsible for around 20% of the abuse - the majority of the abusers seem to be 'friends' or paid carers. That 20% is far too many - and I do wonder how much of it has its roots in malice, and how much is an expression of a carer who receives negligible support from their local services and has reached the end of his/her tether. The major emphasis in the reporting seems to be on punitive measures and increasing the number of prosecutions for elder abuse. I have to wonder if there are cases when adequate social services and home support would be a better solution.

Copyright 2006, Tony Plant Happystance Project